Category Archives: Resistance

Who Do You Think You Are?

 

When you have a dream.

When you follow your inner wisdom.

When you Dare Big.

This is a question you will be asked sooner or later.

Insinuatingly, between the lines or smack in the face openly.

Who. DO. You think. You ARE?

Remember to breathe.

image

 

Do you remember this picture?

Impulse by impulse, by Marie D. Tiger. Buy print here.
Impulse by impulse, by Marie D. Tiger. Buy print here.

When you listen to your impulses – all of them, not just the ones that are in your inner default operating mode – each impulse opens up a set of new potentials. Your intuition acts as the captain, choosing the most optimal set of impulses. This means that for each followed impulse, creation by creation, your life becomes something new. Tailor made for you, courtesy of your core.

That is why we can trust the Unknown, in the flow of our impulses. It makes everything possible. No matter how scary it feels at times.

So. If your life recently had a huge or even the tiniest Boooom!

Boooom! By Marie D. Tiger. Buy print here.
Boooom! By Marie D. Tiger. Buy print here.

And you’re wondering what to say to the people who ask you who you think you are, to dare so greatly and act so irresponsibly/crazily/weirdly/whatever?

You don’t really need to say anything.

Just get back to the paper, to the canvas, into the coaching room, to your children, into the kitchen, in front of the microphone or in front of the piano. You know.

That’s all.

 

Trusting the Process in Summerland

At the studio.
Hello emptiness. At the studio.

For about eight years, every work day in my life, every moment on my own, has been framed by the needs of my children and family.

This summer the boundaries of this framework are wider than every before. While the beaches are filling up with roasting people, our parallel insight stages of our creative processes haveĀ  given rise to a new rhythm. One day with the kids, one day at the studio, one day with the whole family. Rinse and repeat.

And I am so grateful for the unyielding restrictions that have surrounded me until now. All this space is pretty terrifying. The need to fill it up with distractions is palpable.

Until I remember,

I don’t need to do anything.

It’s okay to walk from tea cup to tea kettle.

Pour tea.

Sit down.

Breathe.

Listen to silence. Wiggle my toes. Eat a pistachio nut.

Feel my skin.

Breathe.

Surrender to art. Marker drawing 29x cm. By Marie D. Tiger.
Surrender to art. Marker drawing 29,7 x 21,0 cm. By Marie D. Tiger.

The impulse that leads me to the next step in the body of work before me always comes. The emptiness is like cold water that I dive into, head first and the initial shock jars me to my bones. No matter.

Trust the process.

What helps you trust the process today?

Edited to add John Cleese’s brilliant speech about creativity, here. Giggles.

The drawing Surrender to Art can be bought as prints and as cards and posters.

 

About Hiding and Resistance

 

Are you allowing all of you? By Marie D. Tiger, in the thought book 2014.
Are you allowing all of you? By Marie D. Tiger, in the thought book 2014.

This morning we were talking with the Engineer about boundaries and the distant, echoing, spacey feeling that they leave, when you first practice setting them in a new place. I remembered, when I was studying coaching, at some point during the studies, we exchanged gifts in the group. We were asked to give our previously chosen angel companions a gift that represented how we saw her or him.

I love surprise gifts and opened mine eagerly. Inside, there was a smiley, cute, cuddly ragdoll with a cutesy princess crown on. A sweet, childish, innocent, soft, huggable kind of gift. The whole group of thirty women oooooh’ed and aaaaah’ed over the ragdoll and over how perfectly it symbolized who I was. For me, it was a wake up call. I did not recognize myself in that ragdoll at all. I saw my mask.

The down side of hiding who you are behind a pleasing facade, in order to avoid being rejected, is that nobody gets to know who you really are. When you spin like a carousel, in order to fulfill all the different expectations around you, at best you get dizzy, at worst, you lose all touch with yourself.

What is comforting, though, is that our core is always available in the moment, no matter how lost we were, just a moment before.

If you could do, be and say anything right now and be fully loved and safe as you are, what would your next step be?

A Tale of Self-Pity and Compassion

I woke up at four a.m.

Fifth morning in a row.

My little daughter had a fever.

Again.

This meant no day care for her, no working for me and a dilemma of how to get firstborn to and from school.

My husband sent me the following picture from his trip to Cape Verde, where he is, alone.

Cape Verde, detail, by Engineer.
Cape Verde, detail, by Engineer.

My to do list is two pages, written with font 10.

Do I manage to convey the enormity of my pity party this morning, at all?

The icky, slimy bug of self-pity started hissing in my ear. Thought by thought, my energy faded away. Powerlessness started seeping into my muscles. My ability to receive any nourishment from interactions with my kids or with my friends and family started receding, until I could feel the slippery frosting of self-pity, coating me from head to toe.

Now, rationally I know self-pity is an attempt to defend myself against overwhelm, expectations and demands. On an emotional level, it’s another story.

The thing is, while self-pity may feel like relief, or like self-love – it’s anything but. It shifts the locus of power on the outside of ourselves, puts us in the back seat of our lives.

Of course, the row of set backs continued. My friends couldn’t help with getting firstborn to school, the taxi driver was rude, there was less money on my account than I remembered, my website crashed… It wasn’t until I had sent my website provider an e-mail to ask for help, and they responded they couldn’t and I just had to google the answer, that I remembered Veronica Torres’ tool: “How ridiculous does it have to get?”.

 

What else would have to happen, until I took responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings.

Ah, well. I asked myself what would take me closer to self-compassion and loving myself in the moment. After a shower, a glass of water and a loving discussion with my daughter, I came back to the computer and easily updated the theme of my website. Now she’s sleeping and I’m feeling happy for the frolicking Engineer again.

I drew this picture to remind myself that there is a better way than self-pity. What would take you one step closer to self-love and self-compassion today?

Self-pity is not your friend, by Marie D. Tiger 2014.
Self-pity is not your friend, by Marie D. Tiger 2014.

 

 

 

 

Is Anybody There?

Is Anybody There?
Is Anybody There?

 

Sometimes, getting started with creating after a longer hiatus of any sort, can be like calling into space. Is there anybody there anymore? At those times, start anywhere, do anything that takes you back into your own imagination, your own world.

Resistance tells us, nothing we do will ever be as good as the things we’ve already created. It’s a lie. The only way to find out what we are able to create today, is to start drawing, typing, painting, stretching, thinking, teaching, designing, building, shipping.

What is your next step?

 

Stare Down Your Resistance

Stare down resistance, in the thought book 2014, by Marie D. Tiger.
Stare down resistance, in the thought book 2014, by Marie D. Tiger.

 

It’s been a Christmas Holiday filled with pyjama days, spending time on neglected hobbies, running, sleeping, being close to my family. Wonderful. Yet yesterday, when I sat down as the object of a photo shoot, and was asked to draw, I felt resistance gnawing my fingers. It’s an almost physical sensation, a flaccid, gray slowing down that seems to say every sort of action is doomed before it is started, implying that it is useless to start anything.

Resistance is scary. Staring it into its face may make you feel like everything you will ever do from this moment on is doomed to be worthless crap. Don’t worry, it is just a clever ruse, designed to make you use all of your energy on either resisting the resistance (creating from anger, drugging yourself to be able to function, overeating may be examples of this) or running away from it (compulsively shopping, cleaning the whole house, watching a season of a tv-series although you feel anxiety building).

Don’t do that. Instead, take your favorite or least favorite medium and start out. Do anything, anything at all. Put on some music if it helps. Start out with five minutes. After that, continue ten minutes more with the same activity or another, that comes to mind.

After this, feel free to continue or stop. Just fifteen minutes of creative activity will have turned your resistance into creative momentum and if you listen carefully to your impulses, ideas, decisive action and new creations will sprout from this.

Create often, without pressure or goals. Start where you are. It’s the strongest, most potent antidote to resistance. Once you are moving, your creations will point the way.

How do your experience resistance in your body? What does your creative energy feel like, once you are deeply embedded in creative activity?