Last Fall I enrolled in Hiro Boga’s Become Your Own Business Advisor online workshop. It is a very sneaky, deeply transformative way to learn about your inner landscape concerning business. I got through one third of the material, first time around.
When I write sneaky, I mean it goes straight to the core. A few months after the workshop I find myself in a classic state of practical ecstasy and every day I am tested; How much joy can I stand today?
The situation is as follows. For at least one year I can paint daily, making painting my number one priority during weekdays, when the children are in school and sometimes longer, when the Engineer picks them up from school. Of course this loveliness is then sprinkled with wonderful encounters with coaching clients and art students.
And while this only means that I have meaningful work to go to every day and the rest of my business model is still in shambles, I am truly, madly, deeply in love with existence.
I went to the pharmacy today, after the Engineer told me that is where you can purchase isopropyl alcohol, which for instance lovely Samantha Dasilva explains how to use. The pharmacist looked suspiciously at my paint-stained clothes, and [too] happy face [unusual in wintertime Finland] and asked what I was going to use it for. After a while her eyes started to glaze over and I realized she believed me and just wanted me to stop spouting details about painting.
This ecstasy, eagerness and deep hunger for life is not new for me. I have felt it since I was a child and several times after that, always linking it to art making. It baffles me that I have spent some 38 years, fighting and sabotaging this dream in different ways, only obvious to me now, and that even now, with all that is possible, I sometimes hear myself say:
“Maybe I should be realistic.”
And worse, I feel the trepidation, the hesitancy creep into my veins and turn my blood slow, fill my limbs with leaden tiredness…
And then I look at this.
And feel my insides flow with warmth, bouncy energy and an inner “YES!” in response.
I know, deep deep down inside all that is true and real in me, that this Makes. Sense.
So, I for one,
propose the deepest compassion and gentleness
with all urges to hide, to self-sabotage, to resist
at the same time
as I recommend warrior courage
in facing what is within and looking at it clearly.
Or whatever else that works.
Life is short.
Dreams are juicy.
Go for it.
Because expanding our capacity of joy, of happiness, of diving deep into meaningful
action (whatever it is for you) is so worth it.
Sending you the inspiration of cascading cadmium lemon yellow, deepest permanent red violet and a million shades of cadmium orange mixed with white. <3