In my job as a life art coach, I have learned to create spaces of being fully present between myself and the client. Now, being coached by wonderful Molly Gordon again, I notice how rarely I choose to be fully present for myself. Too often my days are spent feeding inner static.
“Should I take care of accounting, or go for a run? Eat lettuce or make couscous? Should I rest when I’m sick or just work a little? Is it my fault that I don’t know what to do? Am I lying to myself? Should I do better” On and on it goes. Every decision has a loooong story attached to it, that confuses both my inner wisdom and common sense.
Yesterday in coaching, I realized that the static of my repetitive thoughts does the same for my inner senses that an amusement fair does for my outer ones. Instant overwhelm. But just as the clamor in a shopping mall is nothing personal, the inner stories that I run with about my choices isn’t either.
There is nothing that needs to be done about static. It consoles me when I remember that static, no matter how uncomfortable it is, does not need to be fixed, understood or analyzed. Awareness is enough. Of course, in coaching it embarrasingly enough means I sit before my red mini I-Pad, staring blankly at Molly in the Skype window, because suddenly I have no more words.
When you realize you’re immersing yourself in the story about what you should do, just recognize it as noise. Impersonal, neutral noise. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself in worldlessness for a moment, the state where you just are – feeling, sensing and existing.
What are you noticing about your inner world right in this moment?