Sometimes I think such a big part of creativity is the ability to stomach tension.
There is the tension that starts building an hour before it is time to get the kids from school and the meter is running out on work time. There is the pressure of making room for imagination, art and creation, while money is needed, the bills are piling up and responsibility is weighing down on the shoulders. There is the balance between the ideal vision and the messiness, imperfection and humanity of the reality that is born out of the vision.
When you don’t take the sometimes considerable force of this raw energy personally, you can learn to let it all slosh around in your body, keeping the energy moving, letting it all mix together in divine chaos. Then you pour it all into what you are creating.
What could help you keep the tension and energy moving today?
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Today I have been procrastinating two huge deadlines, both of them humongous in their own way. At lunch, I knew there was no chance but to start moving inner stuff around, in order to get everything done in time. Because of some [very slight] opposition on my part, I decided to do some vocal exercises. That’s the last line of defence for me. When nothing else works, sing.
After singing shame, shadow and space for about half an hour, opera voice switching to lorry driver with a few nasal sounds thrown in, I feel so much better and in touch with my body.
This last month, I’ve been talking to many people about feelings. It seems to me, there is a lot more talking about vulnerability going on, than actually being vulnerable. I think it’s mostly because vulnerability sucks so much. It demands being present, doing something to move through the feelings that life awakens and courage. Plus, if you’re with other people, awkward is just the beginning. Running away would be preferable, if it only didn’t have that consequence of not feeling alive after a while.
So, deadline, here I come.
Thank you, my lovely reader, for allowing me to share this today and finally get started on this day’s work. How are your deadlines treating you this lovely Friday?